Yeeow-ouch

Sad to say, even the best of us can be laid low by....sciatica. And me, too. Not the least bit glamorous, but there it is. Next broadcast and posting in June! Send your topic requests in now and take my mind off this horrible nerve pain.

Tanorexic Teens in the Booth

Must we repeat ourselves? It seems we must. The Indoor Tanning Association (ITA), industry mouthpiece for the tanning bed merchants, has launched the oxymoronic "heathy tan."

The ITA exists for the purpose of "promoting responsible sun care and sun burn prevention" in the same way Altria (aka Phillip Morris) promotes public health in third-world countries. It "represents thousands of indoor tanning manufacturers, distributors, facility owners and members from other support industries" employing "more than 160,000 people and...more than $5 billion annually..."

If you go by the ITA press release page, the "sunshine vitamin" D is a cure-all for cancer and scientists are just one short step away from endorsing indoor tanning beds as a drug delivery device. The campaign is aimed at those least likely to be deficient in vitamin D: young, caucasian female teenagers.

This week's Newsweek provides an article summarizing the ITA's fallacious assertions. The average amount of sun required by said caucasian teenagers is 5 minutes 3x week of unprotected midday (10am - 4pm) sun exposure. Just think about trying to avoid that amount of sunlight. Researchers have found the highest incident of vitamin D deficiency in otherwise health women of the Middle East: those covered head-t0-fingertip in burkas. I'm not kidding.

A Picture is Worth... (Before & Afters)

... A thousand disclaimers to the contrary. After all, a celebrity is more likely to admit to having herpes than cosmetic surgery. A recent NYTimes article featuring an MSNBC article featuring the opinions of a celebrity blogging surgeon (how's that for sourcing?) purported to reveal all in pictures.

The running commentary of the star-studded slide show was meant to expose the not-so-pretty results of rejuvenation surgery. To really have an eye for the faces you need to be both predisposed to gossip and have had a lot of time holding the knife, so to speak. A general plastic surgeon who is young, relatively inexperienced (in surgeon years), and not terribly savvy about facial plastics is going to miss quite a lot.

Let's have a little look-see.

Here are some of the then-and-now photos and quotes from the MSNBC pictorial, along with some tips from moi. Just double click on any photo or link for a closer look.

Nicole Kidman (40) is not showing "classic botox brow" here in this side-by-side; what it does show is a lot of grey and hair extensions. This is what botox brow looks like. Kidman is currently off the juice due to her pregnancy and has the brow movement to prove it. (PS: red lipstick was not a good look in 1997.)

It's more than just "possible" Kenny Rogers (69) has had a necklift; there's plenty of evidence of his facelift(s) as well in the side-by-side photos. Compare the two necklines from 1985 (far left) and 2007 (middle). That turkey gobbler didn't go away on its own! Note as well the post-facelift choice of a goatee; most likely the surgeon hid the facelift scar behind the tragus and the natural beard line is now in there as well. Just a little image googling shows Rogers had a previous blepharoplasty and facelift prior to this; his 9/2006 ear (near left) shows obvious signs of a lift, but the neck skin is much more lax than what he's sporting in 2007.

The ear can potentially give you a lot of information about anyone's facelift. Just as in tailoring, the seam has got to go somewhere. In men the facelift incision is most often placed in the preauricular position, in women it's looped around behind the tragus. Care must be taken to avoid loss of temporal hair/sideburn elevation, tragus elimination, earlobe dislocation/distortion, and visible scars in front of the ear– all too common mistakes.

Who's next? Susan Sarandon (61) looks like she's "aging gracefully" in MSNBC's side-by-side, but sometimes you just need the right picture. Once again, google is your friend. There's plenty of evidence under her chin of a facelift in this 5/2008 candid (far right). Now look again at the MSNBC photos: her crowsfeet swing upward with the onset of aging...or a temporal lift.

Madonna (49)? Excuse me?!? Is the Pope Catholic? Yes, she's had a facelift. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Sylvester Stallone (61) does not look "more and more like his mother." He looks like an engorged p _ _ _ _. I can't say it, even in print. He has the classic signs of testosterone replacement in addition to his hGH use.
That raw meat look comes from over-doing the hormone supplements. Not only has he had an upper blepharoplasty, he's had lips, browlift(s), and full facelift. Check out the incision scars; there's no "maybe" about it.

And the NYTimes covergirl, Priscilla Presley (62)? That's a 40 year gap between images, but her nasolabial folds disappeared and her pucker got poutier. But what's the most obvious thing that jumps out at you? Her facelift! Check out those ears, no before photo needed! This is not merely "Botox injections, Restylane injections, chemical peels and laser treatments...fat grafting...long-acting filler like Radiesse." It's a facelift, boys and girls. Now, class dismissed.