Thursday, October 16, 2008

Freaky Faces (Bad Cosmetic Surgery)

n the mood for some fun-size candy? In Hollywood it's Halloween year-round. Let's go trick-or-treating with some of our favorite stars from the KnifeStyles' archives! (To find out more about how you can get any of these looks at home, just click on his/her/its name under Labels.)

Leading the party is birthday boy Michael Jackson. He celebrated his 50th this year with a new and improved wig. And bringing the party balloons and matching face is big sister LaToya (52).

How did they come up with this look?

I'll tell you how: they ripped it off! In 1952 Hasbro came out with Mr. Potato Head. The original package included plastic eyes, nose, mouth, ears along with a styrofoam head for kids to practice making wacky expressions. Featured in the first TV toy commercial ever, it earned $4 million in sales in just the first few months.

The competition in Hollywood has been fierce ever since.

The Scary Clown face took off with the Batman film series. Mickey Rourke (52) can't smile anymore without conjuring up images of a demonic Joker. Not to be outdone, Donatella Versace (55) is going as Mrs. Joker.

Then there are those older kids who go in for the classic fairy tale genre: the Big Bad Wolf my-teeth-will-eat-you-up. Both Faye Dunaway (67) and Gary Busey (64) have aggressive, man made choppers perfect for the part.

Also light and playful are Clown Lips, often paired with great big rubber breasts that go beep-beep. Just showing up as the first supermodel would so '80s. Or so Janice Dickinson (53) thinks.

On the more on the risqué side of the room is Man-as-Phallus, Sylvester Stallone (60). This look can be obtained by combining surgery with lots of injected testosterone and hGH. Not sure how much candy you'll get with this one....

Not to be outdone, Madonna's (52) new face shares a lot in common another x-rated marionette: Madame. Too tight, too thin, all cheeks and chin! Lil' Kim (31) tried the same same idea, but she's got a few years to go before she can really pull it off.

Victoria Principal (62) just wants to be thought of as hip and techno-savvy, so she's going as an emoticon, the Happy Face.

Imitation can be a source of flattery – or not. We could ask Rowan Atkinson if his Mr. Bean Brows are proprietary and whether Melanie Griffith (51) has paid.

Of course, the easy cop-out is just to put on a mask. Are you listening, Ms. Presley (63)? It's much more fun when you put some effort into it. Take, for instance, Julie Newmar (75): a deft hand with the make-up can really liven up your Death Mask.

Then there's the crowd that believes that trick-or-treating should be a creative expression of one's worth. Why trick out your ride when you can Pimp Your Face? Mike Tyson (42) is outspoken on the topic.

Or just forget about plastic surgery and Just Do Drugs for a really scary look.

Oh, those fun FM 107.1 listeners, one of whom submitted this photo to give Donatella a run for her wax lips. Who says 40 can't be fabulous?

New Feature FM107.1 on Demand - audio archive

Did you miss hearing Anne flesh it all out with Kevyn Burger on-air? Use this link to find the FM107.1 audio archive of Knifestyles broadcasts by date (second hour). Step one: select the date shown on the blog posting; step two: click on Kevyn Burger; step three: click on second hour. Enjoy!

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