Miracle Babies (IVF)

We've just passed our de-paganized egg celebration and all sorts of cute and fuzzy Hollywood coverbabies are on display. That's J-Lo (38) and her $6 million dollar fraternal twins on the front of this month's People magazine.

And Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon (41) has posed with her fraternal twins for JET magazine.

Dennis Quaid and his wife Kimberly (36) were recently in the news when their fraternal twins were mistakenly overdosed in the hospital shortly after birth.

Lisa Marie Presley (40) has just announced on her MySpace page that she is expecting (rumored to be twins just like papa Elvis).

Previous seasons' lineups also featured a lot of multiples. Julia Roberts led the way with premature fraternal twins in 2004 at the age of 36. The stork brought fraternal twins for Beverly D'Angelo (49), Angela Bassett (47), Geena Davis (48), Holly Hunter (47), Jane Seymour (45), and Marcia Cross (44) as well.

Hmmm. Noticing a trend here? Older mothers? Twins anyone?

And then there's the current batch of singletons. Nicole Kidman (40) is 5 months pregnant and to make sure everyone knows, she donned a hideous see-through Prada dress back in February.

Minnie Driver (38) has announced her pregnancy, but the sperm donor is unannounced.

Cate Blanchett (38) is having her third child this April.

Gwen Stefani (38) is about to pop number two.

Julianna Margulies (41) just gave birth to a boy.

Helena Bonham Carter (41) delivered with Tim Burton just in time for the release of their other collaboration, Sweeny Todd.

Halle Berry (41) gave birth to her first, Nahla Ariela, last week. (Nahla is Arabic for 'drink of water,' Ariela is related to the Hebrew for 'lion of god.') Was it easy to conceive? "...[T]here was a lot of staying home and doing what you do. Like, all the time, around the clock," she said on Oprah. "Did you know that they call this a geriatric pregnancy? I cringe when I hear that. I'm like, 'Take that off my chart!' "

So how is it that these famous "elderly" mamas are defying the laws of nature? God loves them more? Well....maybe. In the old Testament, Jacob has two wives, Leah and Rachel, who dealt with menopausal infertility by giving him their respective hand maidens. Infertility specialists are the modern version.

Let's start with a few definitions to wipe that vaseline coating off the camera lens.
MIRACLE: something that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God.
ELDERLY PRIMIGRAVIDA: a woman older than 35 years who is pregnant for the first time.
FERTILE: pregnant within one year of non-protected intercourse.

Everyone has a story about someone's perimenopausal baby miracle - but scientifically that's pretty much what such a pregnancy is: a miracle.

Statistically, a sexually active 40-year-old woman has a 5% chance of conceiving in any given month. A 30-year-0ld has a 20% chance. At age 42, 90% of a woman's remaining eggs are abnormal. These eggs come with an expiration date.

These late-in-life Hollywood babies create false perceptions about fertility that can devastate women planning midlife pregnancies, particularly those of modest financial means.

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is just part of the picture. In vitro is Latin for "in glass," ie, outside the living organism (or Hollywood womb if you prefer). IVF is the technique in which egg cells are fertilized by sperm in the petri dish. The fertilized egg (zygote) is then squirted into the uterus. To improve the odds, more than one zygote is transferred at one time, which leads to the rising incidence of multiple births.

The second piece of the picture is the egg itself. Egg quality is the primary barrier to pregnancy in older women. The live birthrate for IVF using a woman's own eggs is 25% for 30-year-olds, 16% at age 40, 9% at 42, 5% at 43, 2% thereafter. And retrieval of those eggs from hyperstimulated ovaries is no picnic either.

However, IVF pregnancy rates soar when the egg is donated by a younger woman and implanted into the hormonally-enhanced elderly uterus. It's safe to assume that the celebrity women pregnant in their mid-40s are using donor eggs. Some admit to it, most do not.

For a good primer on egg donation and gestational surrogacy (the borrowed uterus), Wikipedia is your friend.

No SAGging Allowed Awards

Now that the Golden Globes has been reduced to a press conference and who knows what will happen to the Oscars, Sunday's Screen Actors Guild Awards had to provide a boost to a Hollywood pulled down by the writers' strike. The writers' union granted a waiver in support of their actor pals for 14th annual SAG Awards. Not that there was any sagging to be found amongst all those strapless dresses.

It might interest you to know that, unlike any other awards show, at this one the stars have to eat on camera. The executive chef said "We want it to be tasty and clean — no linguine, no meatballs." Just like the present Queen of England, one should never eat garlic, long pasta, or messy tomato sauces in public. However, I suspect her namesake did, on occasion, eat with her hands.

Female Actor in Leading Role

Of the five nominees here, our two favorites Cate Blanchett (37) and Julie Christie (66) are both (relatively) unoperated – and their three-dimensional roles show it. Can you imagine a facelifted Christie trying to convince us that she has Alzheimer's? Or Blanchett playing Dylan with a bobbed nose? Blanchett has long been outspoken about women (and most recently teens) and plastic surgery. Christie admits to a tightening of her jawline in the 1990s: "I'm tempted every time I look in the mirror. You want to get your familiar face back when you see all the lines around your chin, neck, eyes, mouth, arms and everything else." She is a perfect example of judicious, excellent work, most likely an endoscopic lower facelift.

Marion Cotillard (32) is French, so it almost goes without saying that her face is her own; look under her eyes. For her role as Edith Piaf "her hair was shaved back to create Piaf's high forehead. Her eyebrows were shaved off and redrawn as fake lines. Make-up for the older Piaf - she died at 47 but looked 30 years older - took between three and six hours."

Angelina Jolie's (32) lips are her own. All you have to do is look at her teenage photos. It's her nose – her nose! that was done. As for her supposed pregnancy with twins? Check out this photo gallery: can't see it in her breasts yet.

Male Actor in Leading Role

Alright! Finally an all-silicone actor is nominated...no wait, you mean Ryan Gosling got the nod, not Bianca?? Oh well. Good thing he brought his sister, instead. He wore the Hollywood version of a black arm band in memory of poor Heath Ledger: a black lapel ribbon. Winner Daniel Day Lewis memorialized him as well.

And about George Clooney (46) supposedly "admitting" that he'd had eye surgery during an interview with Julia Roberts a year ago – it was a joke, friends, a joke.

Female Actor in TV

Winner Queen Latifah (37) has been very open about her post-weight loss breast reduction surgery in 2003, but laments being made only a DD! Maybe that's why she didn't show up.

Vanessa Redgrave (71) has played the facelift role in Nip/Tuck, but she also appears to have done it in real life about a decade ago. Click on the photo and compare her tragus (the cartilage in front of the ear opening) with that of Peter O'Toole's (75) from the film Venus. She's had a lift; he has not. But he has had other work done – on his nose and eyes.

Ellen Burstyn (75), another nominee, looks to have had a a very nice facelift done a few years ago.

Male Actor in TV

No fun here. Winner Kevin Kline didn't show up, either.

Okay, okay....on to the really important stuff. My favorite dress? The beautiful Korean-inspired gown of Sandra Oh.

Bride of Botox

Botox has overtaken Hollywood in a big way. The shine reflecting off those smooth, wrinkle-free foreheads is blinding. We need a new term for these shadowless faces. Suggestions anyone?

Approved for cosmetic use by the FDA in 2002, Botox (Botulinum Toxin Type A) has numerous established therapeutic applications. It is a neurotoxin protein produced by a bactierium, one of the most poisonous naturally occuring substances in the world. It acts by blocking neuromuscular transmission, the body's signal for movement. Used in minute doses, it treats conditions caused by muscle spasms, from blepharospasms and dystonias to hyperhidrosis. (That's tics, spazzes, and flop sweat for the lay person.)

It also happens to work quite well on those wrinkles that come with facial muscle movement. In fact, physicians refer to them specifically as "lines of expression," which is also the secret to verifying it's Hollywood use: can the actor in question emote using a full range of natural facial expressions?

Who admits to it? Teri Hatcher confession is perhaps the most common: "In the past I've had Botox and collagen." The picture at right gives the lie to that. It's the same claim made by the author of Beauty Junkies: Inside Our $15 Billion Obsession with Cosmetic Surgery. Alex Kuczynski (39) says botox was her "gateway drug" before she swore off everything. One look at her television promotion for the book tells you she isn't clean just yet.

But a few are open fans. Vanessa Williams (43) endorses it: "I think it's fine...It's a reality that so many people are incorporating into their lives...bring it on!" Virginia Madsen (45) is actually the spokesperson for Allergan, manufacturer of Botox and Juvederm. There's probably not a virgin face in Hollywood over the age of 12 right now. Even the youngest of actors is indulging in 'preventative injecting.' Early intervention immobilizes the movement that causes eventual wrinkling.

Botox is the gold standard for treating crow's feet, brow furrow, and forehead lines. It works by partially paralyzing the muscles creating those wrinkles. Done well, it provides a 'chemical browlift' and rejuvenates the upper third of the face. But a heavy-hand with the needle yields an immobile forehead like Nicole Kidman (40), Marcia Cross (45)...Nicollette Sheridan (43) won't comment. All exhibit shiny foreheads so frozen, it's almost frostbite.

What are the giveaways? Sometimes a still picture is more than enough. A grinning 40-year-old Caucasian woman has wrinkles. Inept technique can yield 'Spock' eyebrows, arched too far laterally or sprung apart medially. In motion, the face no longer emotes within anthropological norms because the eyes and brows don't move. Women in particular express a great deal with the upper third of their face (ask any man). Bad Botox really flattens an actress's range of emotion.

This mixed message has implications elsewhere, as well. Outside of Hollywood, Katie Couric fell victim to incautious use of Botox. John Kerry's presidential bid was almost derailed by a venture into Botox (or the appearance of it). Too much Botox garbles the visual cues for the observer, the face doesn't 'read.' When that happens, the viewer is liable to think all sorts of things.

What's exciting are the new, emerging uses of Botox for pain disorders in dentistry like TMJ (temporal mandibular joint disorder), bruxism, and temporal masseteric fasciitis pain syndrome. How you might ask? Botox works on smooth muscle fibers and, as it turns out, some pain fiber nerve termini– a source of many pain syndromes. Blocking the nerve transmission in pain fibers yields relief for all sorts of neuralgias such as migraines. Major medical research centers are actively exploring new treatment avenues using Botox for many intractable medical problems involving hyperfunctioning of muscle fibers. Emerging uses at Mayo Clinic (search on the word 'botox') include treatment of BPH (benign prostate hypertrophy) and irritable bladder syndrome. There really is a lot to be said for Botox, but don't expect to hear it out of the mouths of Hollywood stars.

Jane Fonda (69) famously blurted out: "No, I have not had Botox. I will see a woman in Hollywood walking towards me and I'll think that I know her but I don't know who she is. It's terrifying. Everyone looks the same....What I like about England is that people look like they're supposed to look."

Now Jane Fonda has had plenty of work done, but she still looks natural and age-appropriate. In moderation, Botox can look natural. Her objection has legitimacy, however. Many of these younger women who seek to emulate a creaseless existence have ended up erasing their individuality, who they are. In some cases they take it to an extreme and change species (think Joan Rivers).

As Cate Blanchett (37) shouted "...just live your life, death is not going to be any easier just because your face can't move!"



The books we mentioned on-air:




Hear Anne live on the Kevyn Burger show 10:00 to 11:00am Thursdays featuring Knifestyles of the Rich & Famous.

Oscar Fabulous

Being fabulous! Isn't that what the Oscars are all about? We're all vicarious Cinderellas, dreaming about being fabulous. Is it the perfect dress and makeup that makes the star? Or are they manufactured out of silicone, restalyne, hair extensions, and cash?

This year's Academy Awards was all about the revenge of the Real Girls. Jennifer Hudson overpowers Beyonce (you think that hug at the moment all cameras were on Jennifer Hudson wasn't calculated?) because she's real. Beyonce is as Hollywood as they get: a manufactured beauty. She's had her breasts done, her nose thinned and tip made pointier, hair straightened and dyed, starved her thighs. It's a volatile topic but she looks less African-American than before. Was she beautiful before? Absolutely– but a Caucasian aesthetic dominates Hollywood and it shows. Just look around at the Oscars. The men are allowed to be deliciously dark, while black actresses have to pass. Jennifer Hudson is fresh in part because she breaks that unspoken rule.

Example #2 of Real Girls' revenge? Nicole Kidman gets the Oscar award for the most obvious surgical intervention: forehead (botox), lips (Restalyne), breasts (implants) or maybe she just padded that big red dress. Her face is painted like an airbrushed masterpiece. As an actress she rarely breaks out of the mannequin role. Now look at her posed next to Meryl Streep. The best line of the Oscars belonged to her and the 14 nominations she's received as an actress so far: I'm a size 14, so it all matches! Do you think Nicole Kidman will have her pick of roles as a 58 year-old size 14?

Listen to what Real Girl A-listers have to say:

I would never ever have plastic surgery. We're all just going way too far. I know it's a product of the whole celebrity industry, but it's something I absolutely detest. I want my daughter to see what is real, not what is unachievable and fake.
– Julianne Moore, 46

[Plastic surgery] makes these people, actors especially, fantasy figures for a fantasy world...acting is about being real, being honest.
– Kate Winslet, 32

[P]eople who look too perfect don’t look sexy or particularly beautiful.
– Rachel Weisz, 36

Death is not going to be any easier just because your face can't move.
– Cate Blanchett, 37

The bottom line: if you're trading on your looks and not your talent, you're going to have a short, desperate career in film. I'm putting money on the Real Girls: they'll have longer, more fulfilling careers and their film output will be more memorable.

So, what makes Real Girls fabulous? What gives them light-up-a-room star quality? There's an often retold (but true) tale of Marilyn Monroe walking incognito down a busy street, just another hausfrau in a headscarf, offering to demonstrate this very principle to her companion. She simply turned on her star persona and in a moment had that New York city street at a standstill. No grand gestures, no lighting, no make-up, just that switch in attitude.

So all you vicarious Cinderellas: go out and be fabulous.


Hear Anne live on the Kevyn Burger show on Thursdays featuring Knifestyles of the Rich & Famous.