Hollywood's True Nightmare (Aging)

What photoshop taketh away, it can also giveth. Today we'd like to bring our friends in Hollywood closer to God.

Every bit as much as cosmetic surgery, Photoshop® and digital technology have forever altered the meaning of the close-up and the celebrity photograph.



Even in the golden era of Hollywood, studios manipulated every publicity photo via meticulous styling, lighting, and retouching in the darkroom of artists like the photographer George Hurrell. Today's top pixel pushers are stars in their own right. The world's most sought-after professional photo retoucher, Pascal Dangin, was profiled in The New Yorker.

But, as the Good Book says:

....Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.
Job 1:21

It just so happens that these self-same digital wizards, the ones who reimage our celebrity universe into something beautiful and good and unblemished, in the darkness of their tiny home offices they sometimes use their power for – evil.

Just for Halloween, we're going to peek into an alternative reality through the miracle of Adobe® Photoshop® CS4 software. About 500,000 photoshop artists like to electronically hang out together and misuse their free time to mess with us. Here are some of the results of their creative play - click on any image for a closer look.

In the hands of these dedicated digital jockeys, several prominent actors get to reprise roles made famous by other Hollywood colleagues, as above. Some of the artists, though, go for more realism with their celebrity heroes.

Others just want to have fun (or not) with the stars.



Then there are those Mike-the-Mechanic types that just want the world to know that these famous faces are just plain folks like you and me! It's enough to melt McCain's heart. Mega-stars from the Midwest include some of our favorites - who knew??

Just for fun we're going to have you name their heartland occupations:

Jennifer Aniston _______________ .





Sharon Stone _______________ .





Ashley Simpson _______________ .





Tara Reid _______________ .





Britney Spears _______________ .





But what truly terrorizes Tinseltown, the Nightmare on Hollywood Boulevard, the boogey man that stalks the stars.... is aging. Bwwwwaaaaaa-ha!

What will our leading lovelies look like as time moves on, but without plastic surgery? Here are some of the very best of the projections by the same masters of the mouse, using age progression techniques that are realistic.

Jessica Simpson's image shows the characteristic change in skin elasticity in the décolletage and upper arm triceps. Her breast tissue is less firm. The skin on her hands, forearms, shoulders and face display the pigment clumping that comes with over exposure to the sun. The facial wrinkling is exactly as nature intended. The vertical bands of the platysmal muscle in the neck become more prominent and the subcutaneous fat thins on the back of her hands.

Sheryl Crow's image shows early peri-menopausal aging: the loss of the epicanthal fold (the skin of the upper eyelid) that evolves as the brow drops; the deepening of "smile" wrinkles; and loss of hair pigment.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is going to make someone a very nice grandma. As the facial tissues head south to form crepey jowls it completely changes the shape of her face. This kind of skin relaxation usually comes from excessive sun exposure to thin skin. Note the widening part that comes from thinning hair.

Lindsay Lohan is going this way, if she cleans up her act. It's accurate for a post menopausal age except perhaps for the eyelids...

Don't let this innocent smile fool you into thinking Kirsten Dunst is just about warm hugs in her dotage. She's still got a lot going on.

Party girl Paris Hilton is sure to be wearing pink at a ripe old age and having lots of fun.

And Gwen Steffani? Party-hearty, that girl is never going to quit!

Sadly, the same probably can't be said for Nicole Kidman.

Want to try it yourself? Here's a tutorial.

Happy Halloween everyone!


New Feature FM107.1 on Demand - audio archive
http://www.fm1071.com/ondemand/

Did you miss hearing Anne flesh it all out today with Kevyn Burger on-air? Use this link to find the FM107.1 audio archive of Knifestyles broadcasts by date (second hour). Step one: select the date shown on the blog posting; step two: click on Kevyn Burger; step three: click on second hour. Enjoy!

Which Breasts Are Best?

Let's go back to the question of breasts today– and get over it! This month's Jane magazine polled 600 adult women about their breasts: 74% of those surveyed said they were dissatisfied with the shape and size of their own breasts. Let's get this fixed.



























No, Jessica Simpson is not the real thing nor should any woman compare herself to silicone-enhanced breasts. It's like comparing apples and oranges. They're not the same fruit. But just to convince you, let's walk through how the all-seeing eye-of-Anne knows when those ta-tas are altered.

What gives away breast implants? Capsules, growth spurts, ripples, tunnel cleavage, adhesions, rimming, hardness, distortion, disproportion, immobility, scars, supernatural suspension. Shall we illustrate this?

Here's a candid picture of the original equipment from early in her career. Jessica Simpson's breast appear to be a small C-cup, her father's groping comments aside. She's 18 or so in this picture, about the time when breast growth is complete (pregnancy-related changes excluded). In the last eight years, however, Jessica Simpson has had some unusual growth spurts...and even more unusual circumscribed 'weight loss'...all in her breasts. They've been in, they've been out, they've been in again. Currently they appear to be out. Cue the music— "Thanks for the Many Mammaries." Does any of it make her look more or less beautiful? You decide.

In 1992 the FDA effectively took silicone breast implants off the cosmetic market and only recently re-approved them for elective augmentation surgery. Last November the FDA lifted its 14 year near-ban on silicone gel implants. None of this slowed down the current wild popularity of bigger bazooms through plastic surgery.

The viscosity of the filling material is what distinguishes the feel of the augmented breast, since all implants use silicone outer shells. Saline implants are round and filled with simple salt water. Most of what you see on inflated chests is in fact saline-filled and a poor substitute for real mammary tissue. These surgically implanted sacs can feel akin to a waterbed—especially during physical activity. Silicone implants, by contrast, are filled with a synthetic gel, a consistency not unlike a weak squeeze ball. Silicone gel also comes in a variety of shapes and conforms more closely with the natural tear-drop shape of real breasts. Saline implants have a round, balloon-ish quality and are much easier to spot with a quick glance.

A lot of women opt for subglandular placement (under the mammary tissue, over the pectoral muscle). The advantages? It can postpone a breast lift (mastopexy), by adding volume to counter mild sag (ptosis), but this is temporary. Keep in mind that the only thing supporting the implant is the elastic integrity of the skin and breast tissue.

Paula Abdul shows the perils of too much, too late. A subglandular placement requires less recovery time with less post-op discomfort, since the muscles are left intact. Actresses and strippers also prefer it for the enhanced projection. Conversely, a very large implant placed sub-muscular (without tissue expansion which is what post-mastectomy patients undergo) is agony. But it looks more natural.

Other disadvantages to a subglandular placement? Ripples and adhesions. As the implant drops, or settles into place, the surface of the shell can pull on the scar capsule, which in turn pulls on the skin. This produces traction rippling ala Beyonce.

A lot of surgeons operate through incisions you might not guess. The trendiest is transumbilical (TUBA), an approach through a naval incision. Transaxillary (armpit incision) is also popular. An incision hidden in the inframmamary fold (crease under the breast) or peri-areolar are the most common and can give truth to the lie. It also often impairs nipple sensation. Poor Tara Reid.

Placement of the breast implant over the pectoral muscle (subglandular) is very obvious in thin women with little natural breast tissue. The highly technical description is generally "bolt-on breasts." In Hollywood you really can be too rich and too thin. Just Victoria Beckham.

The most common cause of an unnatural appearance? Capsular contracture occurs when the scar tissue that naturally forms around the implant tightens and squeezes the implant into a hard, unnatural appearance. The previous older generation of silicone breast implants were particularly prone to this. No surgeon can completely control for the vagaries of healing and this has caused many stars, from Demi Moore to Courtney Love, to undergo multiple breast operations.

And most tellingly, when you squeeze on a breast– say with a tight bodice– the outline of any subglandular implant becomes more obvious, particularly in thinner, Hollywood-type women. The demarcation of the upper rim of the implant is a dead giveaway. It doesn't happen in nature.

Real, voluminous breasts look like Scarlett Johansson's "girls" in a fitted gown: pillowy with no tunnels in sight.


Hear Anne live on the Kevyn Burger show Thursdays featuring Knifestyles of the Rich & Famous.