Hollywood's True Nightmare (Aging)

What photoshop taketh away, it can also giveth. Today we'd like to bring our friends in Hollywood closer to God.

Every bit as much as cosmetic surgery, Photoshop® and digital technology have forever altered the meaning of the close-up and the celebrity photograph.



Even in the golden era of Hollywood, studios manipulated every publicity photo via meticulous styling, lighting, and retouching in the darkroom of artists like the photographer George Hurrell. Today's top pixel pushers are stars in their own right. The world's most sought-after professional photo retoucher, Pascal Dangin, was profiled in The New Yorker.

But, as the Good Book says:

....Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.
Job 1:21

It just so happens that these self-same digital wizards, the ones who reimage our celebrity universe into something beautiful and good and unblemished, in the darkness of their tiny home offices they sometimes use their power for – evil.

Just for Halloween, we're going to peek into an alternative reality through the miracle of Adobe® Photoshop® CS4 software. About 500,000 photoshop artists like to electronically hang out together and misuse their free time to mess with us. Here are some of the results of their creative play - click on any image for a closer look.

In the hands of these dedicated digital jockeys, several prominent actors get to reprise roles made famous by other Hollywood colleagues, as above. Some of the artists, though, go for more realism with their celebrity heroes.

Others just want to have fun (or not) with the stars.



Then there are those Mike-the-Mechanic types that just want the world to know that these famous faces are just plain folks like you and me! It's enough to melt McCain's heart. Mega-stars from the Midwest include some of our favorites - who knew??

Just for fun we're going to have you name their heartland occupations:

Jennifer Aniston _______________ .





Sharon Stone _______________ .





Ashley Simpson _______________ .





Tara Reid _______________ .





Britney Spears _______________ .





But what truly terrorizes Tinseltown, the Nightmare on Hollywood Boulevard, the boogey man that stalks the stars.... is aging. Bwwwwaaaaaa-ha!

What will our leading lovelies look like as time moves on, but without plastic surgery? Here are some of the very best of the projections by the same masters of the mouse, using age progression techniques that are realistic.

Jessica Simpson's image shows the characteristic change in skin elasticity in the décolletage and upper arm triceps. Her breast tissue is less firm. The skin on her hands, forearms, shoulders and face display the pigment clumping that comes with over exposure to the sun. The facial wrinkling is exactly as nature intended. The vertical bands of the platysmal muscle in the neck become more prominent and the subcutaneous fat thins on the back of her hands.

Sheryl Crow's image shows early peri-menopausal aging: the loss of the epicanthal fold (the skin of the upper eyelid) that evolves as the brow drops; the deepening of "smile" wrinkles; and loss of hair pigment.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is going to make someone a very nice grandma. As the facial tissues head south to form crepey jowls it completely changes the shape of her face. This kind of skin relaxation usually comes from excessive sun exposure to thin skin. Note the widening part that comes from thinning hair.

Lindsay Lohan is going this way, if she cleans up her act. It's accurate for a post menopausal age except perhaps for the eyelids...

Don't let this innocent smile fool you into thinking Kirsten Dunst is just about warm hugs in her dotage. She's still got a lot going on.

Party girl Paris Hilton is sure to be wearing pink at a ripe old age and having lots of fun.

And Gwen Steffani? Party-hearty, that girl is never going to quit!

Sadly, the same probably can't be said for Nicole Kidman.

Want to try it yourself? Here's a tutorial.

Happy Halloween everyone!


New Feature FM107.1 on Demand - audio archive
http://www.fm1071.com/ondemand/

Did you miss hearing Anne flesh it all out today with Kevyn Burger on-air? Use this link to find the FM107.1 audio archive of Knifestyles broadcasts by date (second hour). Step one: select the date shown on the blog posting; step two: click on Kevyn Burger; step three: click on second hour. Enjoy!

Regrettable Rhinoplasties

Does seem as if young Hollywood starlets all share a common gene pool? The ubiquity of the narrow bridge, defined tip, straight dorsum– something distinctly American and that you won't find on screen in foreign films– isn't due to the great melting pot, it's the surgeon's knife.

Like diamonds, rhinoplasties are forever. Once you've purchased it, you'll be wearing it for the rest of your life.

The nose doesn't grow back or stretch with time. The very best of the rhinoplastic surgeons (and there are fewer of them than you think) can improve on a bad result, but revision surgery will never restore your original nose to your face.

As they say in the business: "you want to hit a home run the first time you're up to bat."

So what makes for a poor result?

First, an anatomical primer. Surgeons identify the supporting structure under the nasal skin by its anatomical parts:

From the apex or nasal tip, the columella projects inferoposteriorly toward the center of the superior lip, adjacent on either side to the nares. Encompassing the border of the nares are the alae of the nose superiorly and laterally, and the floor of the nose inferiorly. At the posterior aspect of the base of the nose is the piriform aperture, bordered superiorly and laterally by the frontal processes of the maxilla and the nasal bones. The inferior portion of the cartilaginous nose, otherwise considered the base of the nose, includes the lobule, which consists of the lower lateral cartilages, the tip, the alae, and the columella. In the midline, the posterior aspect of the medial crura of the lower lateral cartilages articulates with the caudal membranous septum. Anteriorly, the medial crura are enclosed within the columella. The lateral crura of the lower lateral cartilages project superiorly to overlap the inferior aspect of the upper lateral cartilages in the midline. Laterally, these crura loosely attach to the piriform aperture....

And now to illustrate. Double-click on any of these images to get a close-up. Take a good look.

The nose falls apart over time, ie, the underlying architecture of the nose is so compromised that the look (and function) can't be maintained. Repeated surgeries become necessary. Michael Jackson (50) is the poster child for what is termed a 'crucified nose.'

Alternately, the surgical result may stay put but it's a look that doesn't appear in nature ala LaToya Jackson (51). Closely related to this phenonmenon is the 'operated look,' a nose that is plausible but clearly the result of surgery, distracting even to the untrained eye. Calista Flockhart (43) has just such a rhinoplasty. Her skin is thin and her resected greater alar cartilage on one side almost pokes through the tip, like a knuckle.

Scarring and overly aggressive resection of the cartilage causes a 'pinched tip' (thinning of lateral cura) and/or 'notched nostrils' (lateral crus). That girl, Marlo Thomas (70) has both.


Her first cosmetic surgery was way back in 1965. Joan Rivers (73) was actually much prettier than she ever thought she was and her initial surgeries made her only slightly less so. But her nose has been, for some time now, the classic example of too much, too often. The net result is a 'putty nose,' one which looks as if it was fashioned out of silly putty and stuck on her face.

Now you see it, now you don't. Onlay grafts to build up the dorsum are always tricky. Alloplastic grafts (eg, silicone, gortex) tend to become infected and extrude; allografts (eg, cadaver donor tissue) reabsorb over time. Only autogenous ones (eg, the patient's own septal/ear cartilage, rib, iliac bone) tend to last. Just ask Lil' Kimberly Jones (33).

Polly want a cracker? No. The pollybeak deformity is a disproportionate fullness in the supratip which evolves postsurgically. It can be cartilagenous or soft tissue in nature and is often the result of a misjudgment on the surgeon's part. Furthermost left is a 1983 preoperative photo of Meg Ryan (46); the next two date from '01 and '08.

Excessive 'columella show' can cause the operated nose to have the appearance of a long, drooping tip. And seeing inside someone's nostril can provide fodder for embarrassing rumors about what's up inside there. Here are three postoperative views of Paris Hilton (27).

Correction of the twisted nose poses one of the greatest challenges in septorhinoplasty. "My face is full of imperfections and it is what it is." Easy to say when you're Dr. McDreamy and have landed gigs as the face of both Versace and Avon campaigns this year. Patrick Dempsey's (41) rhinoplasty took place sometime around 1991-1994. Symmetry is defined by an imaginary line drawn equidistance between the medial canthus (inner corners of the eye) through the middle space of the two front teeth/cupid's bow.

Perhaps the most incongruous mistake is when a perfectly natural-looking result simply doesn't suit the wearer. Jennifer Grey's (48) new nose so disoriented her fans that her career faltered. Twenty years postoperatively, it still hasn't recovered.

To hear more, tune in to hear Anne discuss it all with Kevyn Burger on FM107.1 at 10am Thursday.